Health check #5Embed from Getty Images
Well, I have accepted the fact of the mattter. Not without tears of bitter recrimination first, And a shuddering night terror. But I have left home for the last time; and I strongly suspect I will not return.
I have been taken to a respite centre in City Beach , with the unlikely name of Margaret Doody House . They take good care of me – we’re not far from the City Beach shopping Centre with its good lineup of coffee shops, and the floors here are sprung which makes falling all the more tolerable. I have already taken a massive spill backwards, landing on the base of my skull which compares favourably to my spill yesterday when I shuffled forward uncontrollably and tried to headbutt my way through the glass-pane window at Heather’s only to be refused permission to breakthrough. .And I am reminded of the dream. And the words ”disorder, not disease; and, institution”. This is far more serious than I expected, and I will not be making a recovery soon – it is progressive. Heather has been magnificent in her care for me, going above and beyond expectation with the feeding and cleaning and clothing; but I have today given permission to Kim, my LocaLArea Coordinator. to work with Betty from Royal Perth Hospital to find me a placement in an assisted living facility . I have afeeling that I have left home for the last time, and I will not return. Quite possibly I will never again see my Mum or my dearest, beloved 13 year old puppy. My face is a clenched fist of tears and grief!
In my dream, I was looking down high as someone ascended a tall tower of a skyscraper in a lift,, stepped across the dift oorway as it slld open, and instanty plunged to a demise. It was swift but not scary, and it wads a fr e am in ewhiich I was the observor not the participator, and I woke thinking “disorder, not disease; and , and instituition”. I had a meeting lined up with Kim at 10am that morning. And I was already booked in for respite = the timing was propitious.
I shall work hard on the books I havdeplanne, although typing – which for years had been my priide and my joy – is no longer my friend and ally. But thought still is. Thought mixed with feeling. I shall pump them in to my books. And shall inject too a sense of humour – and play.
Let this be an end to these Health checks. And self pity too. As the leading actress in The Pyjama Game once wrote to me,at the start of my theattrival career when I regularly accepted gigs as part nof the chorus, a note of encouragement to a fledgling thespian in thhise programme, “onward and upwards”